A co-parenting agreement isn’t something that all divorced parents can do. This takes a lot of work and cooperation on the part of both adults. Still, many are willing to make that sacrifice so that their children can reap the benefits of having both parents involved in their activities.
There are issues that can creep up when you are having to work so closely with your ex. The answers to the problems might not always come easily. You and your ex might even disagree about the ideal solution for the conundrum. One thing is for certain — you need to get the parenting model back on track if you are going to keep it up. Here are some pointers that you can use to get back to where you need to be:
Work on finding out your options
Each conflict that you have with your ex will have more than one solution. You need to try to find all of the solutions that are available and think about what the outcome of each will be. Writing all of this out might help you to see the picture more clearly. If you know how you want the situation resolved and you know your ex’s opinion, you can use that information as you evaluate the possibilities.
Take a step away from the conflicts
When discussions get too heated, don’t continue to negotiate. Standing your ground will almost always increase the tension in these cases. Instead, take a break from the issue. Let your ex know that you and he both need time to think without interruptions. Determine when you can come back together to work on the matter again. When you come to this decision, make sure that you aren’t speaking to your ex in a condescending or angry manner. Try to remain calm and controlled so that the situation doesn’t spiral out of control even more.
Change up the parenting style for a bit
You might need to move to another parenting style for a while so that things can calm down. Parallel parenting is an option that you can use because it doesn’t require you and your ex to work so closely but it still lets the child reap the benefit of the relationships with both parents. You can always move back to co-parenting when the situation is defused. Don’t try to rush the transition back to co-parenting. You might end up in an arrangement that is a mixture of parenting models, which is perfectly fine as long as it works for your situation.